Let’s face it, we all have fantasies.

As we mature we have these theories of how our perfect relationship should be, but what we perceive doesn’t always become a reality.

I want to preface this by saying that I have been married for 35 incredible years and looking back at who I was and who I am today I’m glad things turned out the way they did, otherwise I feel that today I would either be divorced or the unhappiest man in the world.

When I first saw my wife I fell in love immediately with her beauty. I would say that’s pretty much what 100% of us fall for first. But unlike so many other women I had dated in the past I saw something different. I saw not only beauty but someone who was genuine, pure, honest and caring. These were traits I hadn’t encountered before in other women, at least not all in one package.

They say opposites attract and I must say that we were the most unlikely couple to ever be together, let alone be married.

As we moved forward in our relationship I had certain fantasies about how I like to see my wife and was pretty relentless in doing things to change my wife into who I wanted her to be.

Every time I would bring something home that was provocative or not quite appropriate in her eyes she would very politely say that it just wasn’t her and didn’t feel comfortable. I, being the gentleman I am, always submitted and backed down realizing that I was doing this for me, not her and realized how selfish that was.

I will Never Change My Wife!!!

As our years of marriage progressed and we learned more about each other it made me realize how trivial it was  to try to change my wife into something she’s not. What she is and always will be is an incredible wife, mother, lover, friend and soul mate to my heart only.

In the world today where there is a 60%+ divorce rate it makes not sense to me why couples no matter how young, old, gay, straight, black, white or integrated can’t look at each other and compromise on what’s important to both of you, not just one of you.

So next time you want to change your wife, take a step back and see if maybe it’s you that should change, because she’s just fine the way she is.

James F. Sama